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As I began to write today, I realized aperitif is an uncommon word. It means the starter wines before meals. I used it because as uncommon as this word is, it is a subtle but very common need of human behavior. The need 'before' a behavior is expressed and how that expression is complete or diluted. The common need is the need for APPROVAL. Human behavior is often unknowingly driven and/or motivated by some or the other need, the most common being Approval, Appreciation, Aperitif. Human needs drive much of human behavior, which in turn drives the fulfillment of the same needs. If you are at a place in life, where things are not looking great, see if you are blocking yourself, by seeking other people's approval. Does it drive you, stop you or hold you back? 

Appreciation has been known to be a motivator for people, but stopping yourself for not getting approval or seeking approval in everything one does, is in itself a de-motivator. It blocks 'action' by people.It blocks ' going against the grain. It blocks 'expression'. The need for Approval per se is a BLOCKER.

As children , we were taught confidence when parents approved of what we did. For few years, children almost do things in ways that pleases their parents. In healthy circumstances , an individual grows out of this need or keeps at it unconsciously. Some of these behaviors work and some don't work as we grow into adults. Most people are neither aware of these behaviors nor are they aware that it is a need for approval which is blocking their momentum. In extreme cases, it can paralyze your outside and inside behaviors, thereby affecting your life and setting you up for failure, despite best efforts. The World is not interested in approving of you or your behaviors, except the people closest to you or those who get affected by you.

But if you are not harming anyone, doing what is right for the situation and fair to the people involved, approval is irrelevant..THE RIGHTNESS IS IMPORTANT! 

Women, due to their dependence in thought about how their behaviors are received, judged or understood, lean on approval albeit unconsciously. Find out how you can get rid of this blocker, find your own self, make your own rules and be a winner.
In India and Asia's 1st book on Leadership for Women, NUCLEUS: Power Women Lead from the Core 


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